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Septum Files // SF-021 // Septum County
DeclassifiedCultural Anomaly

The Unverified Personality Signal

The Bureau treats a septum ring as a personality indicator. The Bureau is wrong.

Draft concept — comic standalone, not main-story canon.

Type
Cultural Anomaly
Classification
Declassified
Status
Closed
Published
2026-11-02
Incident
—
Location
Municipal Archives
Investigator
Senior Pattern Examiner
Jurisdiction
Septum County

Incident summary

An internal memo claimed septum rings predict personality. An audit found the memo predicted nothing except the need for an audit.

The Bureau of Unverified Patterns compiled a 40-page memo arguing that a septum ring is "a reliable personality signal." Its sources were three internet comments and a feeling.

Upon review, the Office of Redactions found that the memo confused correlation with causation, anecdote with data, and a piece of jewelry with a person.

Evidence log

TagItemNote
EV-01Memo SF-021-AFootnote 1 reads "trust me."
EV-02Survey of jewelry wearersResults: people are different from each other.

Witness statements (fictional)

"We may have overreached. Again."

— Acting Director of Unexplained Trends

Findings

  • A septum ring is jewelry. It is not a personality.
  • The Bureau has been asked to stop drawing lines between dots that are not connected.

Redacted: (click to reveal)

Related cases

SF-033 — Seven Witnesses, Nine Complaints

"The Bureau said septum rings reveal personality. An audit revealed the Bureau."

Fictional satire. This file is part of an original story world. No real agency, case, or person is depicted.