The agency, such as it is
Division of Nasal Phenomena
Investigates every nose-related 'anomaly' with absurd seriousness.
Office of Redactions
Redacts harmless or self-evident details, thoroughly.
Bureau of Unverified Patterns
Confuses correlation with causation, professionally.
Evidence Preservation Unit
Archives screenshots and trivial artifacts forever.
Public Tip Desk
Issues receipt numbers and bureaucratic acknowledgments.
County institutions
Septum County Sheriff's Office
County law enforcement under Sheriff Sunny Sanger. Every question has a procedure.
Septum County Department of Public Works
County infrastructure and maintenance. Separate from the Grievance Falls department that employed Mal Gardner.
Septum County Office of Public Sentiment
Records how the public feels about the record. Corrections require a second feeling.
Septum County Board of Emotional Safety
Reviews the emotional impact of administrative decisions. Decisions await review of the review.
Septum County Historical Society
Preserves the county's past. Requests about the present are referred to the future.
Septum County Office of Unexplained Phenomena
Receives reports of unusual events. An explanation must be submitted before an event can be declared unexplained.
Recurring titles
- Junior Meme Analyst
- Special Agent of Cartilage
- Senior Pattern Examiner
- Acting Director of Unexplained Trends
Clearance levels
- PublicYou. Right now.
- DeclassifiedThings that were secret until someone forgot why.
- RedactedThings that are secret because they are a little embarrassing.